Solutions From The Multiverse
Hosts Adam Braus (@ajbraus) and Scot Maupin (@scotmaupin) meet up each week where Adam brings a new idea to help the world and Scot picks and prods at it with jokes and questions. The result is an informative and entertaining podcast that always gets you thinking.
Solutions From The Multiverse
Solving Sperm Counts: Ditch Memory Foam (It's too Hot!) | SFM E42
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Disclaimer: This solution is not science or representing data or research, it is just a hunch based on a scientific rationale.
Men's sperm counts have dropped off significantly in the last few decades in the United States. And no one knows why exactly.
No one has discussed one possible answer: memory foam mattresses! The introduction of memory foam mattresses to American bedrooms correlates directly with the drop in sperm counts. Everyone knows that if you want to improve your sperm count you switch from briefs to boxers. Why? Heat. Or rather coolness. Sperm need temperatures below body heat to quicken. Memory foam, however, is a known heatsink.
Even if you aren't worried about your or your partner's little swimmers, heat is a major disruptor of a good night's sleep.
So, tune in to this rollicking conversation with Scott and Braus for a laugh and a good discussion of sperm counts and sleep hygiene.
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Comments? Feedback? Questions? Solutions? Message us! We will do a mailbag episode.
Email: solutionsfromthemultiverse@gmail.com
Adam: @ajbraus - braus@hey.com
Scot: @scotmaupin
adambraus.com (Link to Adam's projects and books)
The Perfect Show (Scot's solo podcast)
Thanks to Jonah Burns for the SFM music.
like movies are, aren't they like not good anymore? I mean it depends on the movie. I think probably. I mean I just isn't. I've heard that, I've heard that most. I've heard that there's been a ton of consolidation in film studios and movie theaters and everything, and then that's causing everything to just be like boring Homogenous yeah, well, that's-.
Scot MaupinSequel. That's always happening, right, there's one thing gets successful and then everything goes oh, we have to make a Marvel movie. And then, 10 years later, everything's a Marvel movie and you're like, oh, I don't like this.
Adam BrausBut it's not always the case. I mean, that wasn't the case 40 years ago. 40 years ago, you know Stevens, or six, 50 years ago, steven Spielberg was just like pretty much an independent filmmaker living in the Bay Area and he was like I want to do you know Samurai's in space, you know King Arthur tales and people were like great, like get a bunch of plastic on people's faces and like make them into aliens and film it.
Scot MaupinYou mean George Lucas? Yeah, sorry, george Lucas, cause Spielberg is actually kind of responsible for what we're dealing with, because he invented the blockbuster with the Jaws, essentially where he's like, the summer blockbuster comes about because of him and then everything kind of the entire industry pivots and shifts toward like, oh, let's make this summer blockbuster.
Adam BrausI mean I just think we need the. You know we need competition. The problem with America is there's not any. There's no competition anymore. It's not a free market and like I can't. I mean I can't think of an industry where it's like a free market.
Scot MaupinYou know Well the studios gobble each other, up until there's only a few that control everything. The banks gobble each other up.
Adam BrausThere's only a few that control everything.
Scot MaupinThe retail stores gobble each other up, so there's only a few that control everything, and then you have to bust them up and be like hey, no monopolies please.
Adam BrausI know, but there's no, we're not doing that. I mean people believe that it's good, like they think it's efficient. You know to do that.
Scot MaupinThey do until you get to a part where you just go like, aren't movies bad now, and that's not what the movie industry wants you to have as your like? Ultimate thing, that you're just default thinking All right. So what's our solution, Briggs? The solution Okay, sperm counts, what? What? Okay, sperm counts.
Adam BrausSperm counts. I agree, sperm counts. They're going down. I haven't been checking, but okay. I don't do. I do a weekly test, scott. I don't want to be gross, but it's important. There's an actual problem or, you know, a worry people have that sperm counts in men in America are going down and there's not really a good explanation, and so I'd like to offer an explanation.
Scot MaupinYou're offering the explanation for why sperm counts in American men are going down. It's not researched, it's not researched. It's just a theory.
Adam BrausThis is a hypothesis. It's a thousand percent pure knowledge.
Scot MaupinNo, not knowledge.
Adam BrausHypothesis Totally could be wrong. But what's interesting is that no one I Googled around and no one has said this. No one has made this connection, but to me it's absolutely obvious. It's exclusive. Yes, here we go, and it may be wrong and that's why this is not. I'm not trying to claim truth, I'm trying to claim, or I'm trying to say in order to do science, there has to be a foregoing process of hypothesis generation.
Scot MaupinOkay, this is part of that process. So you're saying this is a thousand percent legit and a hundred percent true. This is so true that it could be like there's no way that this can't be accurate.
Adam BrausWe could be like headline on the Joe Rogan podcast. That's how accurate this is Okay.
Scot MaupinRight underneath the alien autopsy yeah, right on the alien autopsy, atlantis, and then. Browse has a new, and then this is why his firm counts are going down.
Adam BrausOkay, the answer, I think, is clearly memory foam mattresses.
Scot MaupinI don't know where I thought you were going, but it was not there, okay.
Adam BrausThat's the point of the podcast. You know what? The answer is clearly memory foam mattresses.
Scot MaupinI'm on board. What, okay, explain it to me.
Adam BrausLet me reveal you my conspiracy board theory that has the red strings between. In 1974.
Scot MaupinNo, it's actually. It's bursting with sperm.
Adam BrausJust oceans of sperm.
Scot MaupinIt's just coming out their ears.
Adam BrausNo, in 1960s, in the 60s, nasa invented memory foam. Okay, and it was just like you know. They were doing weird material stuff to try to you know, make it so space was more comfortable. You know you could attach it to like corners and stuff. So if you're floating in G0G you would like not hurt yourself by like bumping into stuff.
Scot MaupinRight Click. A nice material. If you start bleeding it's not good anyway, but if you're bleeding in space, you're spouting out those little tiny droplets of blood that just float through the space thing.
Adam BrausLike a Bobo. Could you imagine if you're?
Scot Maupinlike squirting blood out of You're just like, but just like tiny little droplets.
Adam BrausNow you're floating all pleasantly. No, that's very pleasant.
Scot MaupinAs opposed to like dripping down your dumb leg or whatever Blood in space. Oh, you want to have a blood thing. You're fine with blood. Huh, Some people have blood things.
Adam BrausOne of the listeners of this podcast, one of the 35 listeners. He has a terrible blood thing, so we can talk about blood a lot and he'll just be like ah ah, ah, stop it, stop it, stop it.
Scot MaupinWe'll be down to 34 listeners. That's what I'm saying. Oh, perfect plan If chasing them away. Maybe we shouldn't, maybe we're going the opposite direction with this, but Tell you what each listener submit to us a list of things you don't want us to talk about.
Adam BrausWe'll make sure that we don't we don't hit on your. Independent specific Don't like needles. Great Actually, let me just get a fork and knife and plate and just scrape them into the microphone.
Scot MaupinI actually don't like needles. I'm not, I'll be that guy. So memory foam, oh yeah, memory foam. So NASA invented memory foam.
Adam BrausOkay. So the sperm count thing, if you look at it online, it's exactly correlated with the rise of memory foam. So 1960, there were no memory foam mattresses. Everyone had spring mattresses stuffed with cotton and stuff cotton and other materials. But springs are very, the air flows through the mattress a lot.
Scot MaupinGood for your sperm. The springs are mostly air.
Adam BrausAnd so you're Okay, we'll get to the science of sperm generation later. Well, we could start with that actually. Okay, so everyone knows who's anyone who's tried to have a baby, who's a man knows that they say what do the doctors say, switch from Briefs to boxers. That's right. Why, cools things down? Okay, cools things down. That's why the balls Okay, we're gonna get real graphic here, but let's try to stay scientific, all right. So which is an inside out vagina? I know disgusting, disgusts when you think of it.
Scot MaupinThat way is it?
Adam Brausit is the ovaries when you turn into a man's not disgusting but okay. Well, it's sort of weird.
Scot MaupinThe scrotum is disgusting the whole human biological thing is weird. The bicep is not disgusting? We look at the bicep, it's like cool.
Adam BrausYou look at the scrotum, you're like goddamn not cool, that's not cool bro, that's a marci, I just want another bicep, down there.
Scot MaupinYeah, I just like, yeah bro.
Adam BrausYeah bro, I got to take a bro Hold on.
Scot MaupinI got to put my pants down. Take this picture of me flexing.
Adam BrausThird by third. Okay, all right, yes. So, body positivity aside, the scrotum is a horrible mess, but it isn't inside out vagina which I think is interesting to think about. Cool. And you turn into a man. Everyone's a baby is of every uterine utero. Fetus is a female to begin with and then turn, if it has a micromo, turns into a man. So actually we all start with sort of woman type organs and then it inverse outs into a, into a man's organs.
Scot MaupinRight, it's kind of weird, Anyways.
Adam Brausso the scrotum is an organ that makes the testicles go up and down in order to keep them cool at the right temperature for sperm generation.
Scot MaupinAll of it is lower yeah it's slightly lower than body temperature.
Adam BrausThat's why, like traditionally truck drivers who were sitting on foam car seats not memory foam, but just, you know, car seats that were not well ventilated were they were getting sperm, low sperm counts. They couldn't have kids. They get infertile from their low sperm counts because they're sitting all day long and their legs are like incubating their balls right.
Adam BrausSwitch box. So briefs, same thing Briefs. Keep the balls up to your body. I feel like when you're not telling enough ball jokes, you're Scott Scott's like, very seriously like yes yes, this is how they work, you're right. I'm like Scott. You're supposed to be making fun of how ridiculously stupid.
Scot MaupinI'm being right now. You have an accurate understanding of balls.
Adam BrausOkay, balls.
Scot MaupinOkay, so all right. So then we're keeping it warmer or colder, and that's cooking the sperm or not cooking the sperm he does bad, okay, boxers or briefs, briefs of boxers Right, okay, memory foam Huge heat sink Is it total heat sink?
Adam BrausVery hot, very, very, very hot. Hot material you sit on a memory foam couch five minutes in your butt is like warm. Women probably love it and men you're like. It's comfortable, it's warm, but it's not good for the little soldiers. This correlation has not been documented. I've Googled it. I've Googled memory foam. Sperm counts Nothing. Nothing comes up. Nothing comes up. But I think there needs to be a solid. Is my couch killing my balls and it doesn't pull up anything.
Adam BrausNo, Couch or bed, couch and bed, couch and bed, yeah. And some people get memory foam cushions they sit on. The worst, just all over the place Right and so when you look at the correlation of the drop in sperm counts, which is unexplained, with the rise of memory foam mattresses, it's one to one. It's just like invented in 1960, made into mattresses for the first time in the 70s, nobody wanted it. It was super weird and new Then 80s, 90s, because more and more than like Casper mattresses.
Scot MaupinYeah, I was going to say that we are part of the problem, because Everything's memory foam Podcasts were the generation of. There was a generation of podcasts that were just supported by mattress ads.
Adam BrausThat's right, that was the big, almost all memory foam, temporopedic memory foam.
Scot MaupinI got my mattress off of a podcast ad sponsorship thing. That's where my mattress came from.
Adam BrausWe're part of the problem. I am part of the problem, okay, so there's a couple of different vectors here. One is the sperm stuff, which is what I'm kind of arguing for. It's like if you're going to have a kid, you probably shouldn't have, you're a man and you're trying to have kids Probably shouldn't have. A memory foam mattress, spring mattress you should get rid of it, or what I get purple mattress. I recommend the purple mattress.
Scot MaupinThat's what I got to Dude those are awesome and those are not memory foam.
Adam BrausNo, they have a purple, that purple layer. Is this a purple one, right?
Scot Maupinnow.
Adam BrausI would say yes, purple is awesome.
Scot MaupinI would say purple mattress is a good one, but they do have a layer like a grid of material that keeps air pockets in, there specifically to keep you from heating up like that.
Adam BrausYeah, and it has spring. They do have some memory foam in the construction of the mattress. They have springs that are wrapped in memory foam and then that purple stuff's on top.
Adam BrausBut, so because they're the springs, though it creates a lot of airflow. So actually some people will say that a purple mattress is actually kind of cool, maybe even like women who sleep a little, they want to be a little warmer while they're sleeping. And men are a little warmer while they sleep, they're happy to have it cooler. Women might say the pro mattress is a little chilly, they need more blankets, and guys might say this is really nice because it's like a little cooler.
Scot MaupinYeah.
Adam BrausBut anyways. So on the fertility side, that's my thing, and if you're like a urologist out there, fertility doctor, you know, feel free to blast and say this is not true.
Scot MaupinBut or maybe it is true, I don't know you see them like making guys who are like trying to work on their count, like they have these special like refrigerated. No, seriously they have refrigerated pants units.
Adam BrausI feel like no.
Scot MaupinI feel like that's been the subject of like curb your enthusiasm episodes. This is where I'm pulling from is TV and movies. Yeah, something like that To keep your stuff cold and cool.
Adam BrausI think I could DIY one of those.
Scot MaupinWell, sure, you can just throw some. Throw some ice packs in your pants. Ice packs, Maybe that's not. Maybe there's a problem with getting too cold.
Adam BrausI don't know. So this was on Tucker Carlson, recently fired, unfortunately.
Scot MaupinWhat? Unfortunately? I'm joking, I'm joking, Fortunately. Where's my hold on Adam? I disagree. There we go.
Adam BrausNo, it's fantastic that he was fired, although I think he'll say even worse things, like when he gets on rumble or whatever and makes his own platform. He'll literally become like the leader of the fascist movement of America. It's not good.
Sperm Counts and Sleeping Arrangements
Adam BrausWell, he'll be bow tie Alex Jones, cause he's going to have to like bring his own audience there and keep them there by being more and more outrageous, and that's a machine, I think it is what he'll do, and so I think, in a way, I mean this is horrible to say, cause he's a monster and terrible, but actually on Fox he was like reigned in, and now I think it's like oh no, the gloves are off. Yeah, so I'm terrified, but yeah, I mean I wish him ill. So I'm glad he was fired.
Scot MaupinI mean, do any of those guys really make it outside of the Fox machine, like Bill O'Reilly was a big guy and then he got out?
Adam BrausWell, he was pre-internet, he was pre-podcast and stuff he got. He left before. There was like YouTube podcast.
Scot MaupinBut I feel like when, when they don't have the mechanisms of the Fox cause like so much of Fox's audience is like people who are like 60, 65, who are like just watching Fox and they'll watch whoever's on that slot. And they're not going to my dad's not a Fox viewer, but like someone, like my dad is not going to go learn how to download podcasts just to get Tucker, carl, I mean he won't even do it for his own son. He's not going to learn how to get podcasts for Tucker.
Adam BrausCarlson, but like 28 year old guys who clean their air of 19s every night, are going to do that. That's the terrifying thing I mean that's what makes me freaked out. It's like you get this like sure he's off the mainstream, but you get this hardening on the periphery.
Adam BrausThat's like terrifying you know, so I'm anyways, it's not good. It's not good, but it's also, you know, whatever We'll have to see. Yeah, we'll have to, just oh God. But anyways, he had a whole thing that people made fun of him about, which was? He was talking about this perm count stuff, and he like us there's no, no one knows the solution, but one of the things he talked about which is, I think I know this Is the sun, the.
Adam BrausUV light sunbathing your, your genitals? Yep, oh my God. And the picture was classic. There was of the guy standing on top of like a rock and he had this like machine strap to his genitals that like had light bursting out of it. You've never seen that picture.
Scot MaupinI have not so insane. I can't imagine the content, the requirement of making a daily show and nightly show and having to make content for it each night.
Adam BrausI don't know there's gonna be some weird stuff that gets in there. Yeah, just put anything.
Scot MaupinIt's gonna be so weird, but all right. So he's worried about, he's worried about sperm counts. You're worried about sperm counts.
Adam BrausThe US For totally different reasons, because he's just a male chauvinist, but the idea is if there is a lower sperm count, then we have fewer, we have a lower population.
Scot MaupinAnd then what's the negative for having lower sperm counts for guys?
Adam BrausI mean, I'm like a universalist. I just know that there are men when they are gonna wanna have families and they're gonna have trouble for medical. I'm just speaking completely medically. I don't have any grandiose, I don't know population theory or something. Actually, I think that's quite horrible to have something like that. It's better to just let people choose to build families how they wanna build families.
Scot MaupinBut some people wanna build families and then when they find out they can't, it's devastating and they're like what? Why?
Adam BrausAnd they're like what's going on? And then they switch from briefs to boxers and then nothing happens, because every night, for eight hours they're baking their balls in the memory foam bag.
Scot MaupinAnd even regular beds that aren't having this problem. What do they sell them? They sell them a three inch thing to throw on top.
Adam BrausYeah, the toppers To be like here you go. Now you've got an extra blanket underneath you too, and I think women need to be allies with the men in this, because the women are gonna say, no, I like the memory foam because it's way warmer and women like to be warmer in bed than men do. It's just a scientific fact. Like. I bought this sleeping bag and on the sleeping bag it says here's the temperatures that this sleeping bag can withstand if you're a man. And here's the temperatures.
Scot MaupinThis temp please make him withstand if you're a woman, if you're a lady, yes, lady, here's what your temperatures are. Here's your man temp.
Adam BrausOh, wow, your bag is real. And then you just dropped his pants and had a bicep. Oh jeez.
Scot MaupinHis third bicep. Your bag sounds a little problematic, bro.
Adam BrausI just know it's right because if you sell that to a woman and you tell it, hey, this is the number, and then they go out and they freeze because it's too low or too high or whatever, that's dangerous, that's bad, you have to, you know, the big company was like rightly so. So the women have to say they have to have compassion that the men have a different physiology than the women. They really shouldn't think about this. And if they're trying to have a baby and they want their husband to like, be fit as a fiddle, you know, you gotta keep the heat down.
Adam BrausIt's gotta keep things cool, you know.
Scot MaupinI think what you're telling me is that the solution is the old school. I love Lucy style, like two twin beds for a married couple that are like separated by five feet and a nightstand. You know what I mean.
Adam BrausLike they would be like good night wife, good night husband.
Scot MaupinThey would tuck themselves into their own individual beds.
Adam BrausI think the majority isn't there something like? I've read the statistic that like a huge number of people that sleep in separate beds Really, even today.
Scot MaupinYeah, See, I thought that like that was the thing where it makes you think that, oh, this happened in the 50s. But no, it's like people slept in one bed, it's just for TV. You couldn't have people sleeping in a bed together on for standards and practices, or whatever, I had not thought of that Interesting. But do people? I guess there's gotta be.
Adam BrausA lot of people. There's spurs we don't equate when we're asleep, so let's just do that in separate places. He snores or he's hot. You know, guys can be like these furnaces while they're sleeping and it can be annoying for whoever they're with.
Scot MaupinNow, adam, this might be too personal, but do you get close to someone or do you like your space, space, your space. I need space.
Adam BrausOkay, I need space, especially my I don't know I need space. I get way too hot. I'm a very hot sleeper.
Scot MaupinWhat about? You own two cats. What about if the cats? Will they jump up on you and like sleep on your body? They?
Adam Brausdo sleep and they're okay. They won't. They're not too bad, but I kick them out almost every night. Some nights I leave them in, but most nights I kick them out. They're actually pretty well trained now. I say time to go, I just say time to go. Everybody out, and they get up and they march out and I close the door.
Scot MaupinWow, that's a sight to see. They've been trained.
Adam BrausBut the thing I need is what I wanna do is get a king size bed. Cause a king size bed, then you got plenty of space and two cats can be on it, and if we have any some kids someday, then the kids can you know whatever hang on the bed occasionally you know, and it won't just be like crowded, you know.
Adam BrausSo there, I want a king size bed. That'd be good, not a California king, that's just weird. Well, you're in California, though, that's true, so any king size bed would, by definition, be a king size bed.
Scot MaupinI think you have to be elected king of California in order to be delivered. Only Arnold Schwarzenegger has done that, and he's a big guy he probably needs a big bed.
Adam BrausHe needs a big bed. Yeah, probably quite active. All that flesh, yeah, oh my God. But yeah, he's gotta get those biceps really big.
Scot MaupinHe probably would kill for a third bicep, like as many mostly He'd be like. That sounds great.
Adam BrausSo there's no population. I'm not advocating for any kind of like Control, Control of population.
Scot MaupinNo, no, no.
Adam BrausI'm just advocating for health. You know, you just want men to have cooler balls.
Scot MaupinYeah, overall.
Adam BrausI'm a cool ball kind of guy you know, I'm like the stepdad of balls. I'm cool, you know I'm a cool ball, stepdad.
Scot MaupinHey man, I want your balls to be cool.
Adam BrausYour balls gotta be cool. I don't know, is there an equivalent with women, like, is there like a thing that they're affected by? Like? Well, women are just colder. They're more susceptible to heat and cold.
Scot MaupinI mean, there are definitely a lot of fertility things that affect fertility in women, up and down or whatever. I'm not food maybe Types of food and environmental stuff.
Adam BrausThey come into sync with other women. If they're around other women, that's totally crazy and, as men, we have to have compassion for their fertility. Same thing women and men. We need to have compassion for men's fertility and what they need to be healthy. So, yeah, you can get a purple mattress.
Scot MaupinThat's what I'd recommend, because otherwise I have been happy with it.
Adam BrausThey do sell like cooling memory foam. I think that's all a scam, because memory foam is inherently like a heat sink it just absorbs heat like crazy. And I don't know how you do a cooling one Doesn't make sense to me. Well, but I mean it'd be interesting for this to become like a thing where people started to wreck. I mean, what we need is science to come and see. But here's the other thing, that this applies to everyone. Now, if the big I was reading this research about sleep because I was researching this and other things People. The main problem when people are like, oh, I don't sleep well and like, oh, I don't like my mattress, people don't know it, but it's actually the heat. That's the thing that's ruining people's sleep and making them like uncomfortable on their mattress. You know, if you had a perfectly soft mattress but it was too hot, you'd sleep crap, you'd sleep terrible. And here's the test. Okay, here's the test. If you need to put your leg outside of the blanket, Classic move.
Adam BrausClassic move, I love yeah, classic move If you need to do that. Your mattress is too hot. That's the sign that you're too hot. You should be able to keep all your limbs underneath the blanket, and you should be comfortable.
Scot MaupinSee, I feel like I have a tricky body where, if I'm comfortable going to sleep at a certain like temperature, I know that as soon as I fall asleep my body's gonna heat up like a furnace. Like that just happens, and whatever I'm comfortable going to sleep with, I'm gonna heat up and then, like start sweating or whatever. So I have to go to sleep at a colder temperature than I want.
Adam BrausSo here's the question Do you have a memory foam mattress?
Scot MaupinNo, I have a purple thing. Oh, you have a purple too. Yeah, we have purple, yeah.
Adam BrausSo you have to go to bed cooler, and then wait what?
Scot MaupinOh, you have to go to bed cooler. Go to bed cooler than I might want to, because I know that I'll heat up as soon as I fall asleep.
Adam BrausAnd then you want to throw up blankets or put your leg out or something.
Scot MaupinFor sure.
Adam BrausBut I think, with the purple mattress though, you don't have to worry about that, because there's so much air flow. There's a lot of air flow and even if you get a little warmer, you don't feel like, oh, my God, I'm like, oh, I need you know you're clammy.
Scot MaupinYou never get clammy. The other thing that I will blame on my mattress but is completely not my mattress's fault is, if I like, eat a bunch of food or consume a bunch of calories right before With promo more. Well, no, not in bed, but I mean like if I do it, and then I'm gonna go to bed directly or pretty soon after. My body has all these calories in it, it's like all right, dude, I'm ready to like work.
Adam BrausI'm ready to do things I'm ready to like.
Scot MaupinSo you see even more, and so a calorie is just a unit of energy, you know like it's the energy it takes to raise one cubic centimeter of water one degree Celsius.
Adam BrausWhatever, it is Okay, Bill and I okay.
Scot MaupinIt's just one to one to one, but anyway. But you know, like a calorie is essentially in there making heat Right. And so when you eat a bunch of calories like if I had down a pepperoni pizza and then I was like now time for bed my body is like no dude, I'm gonna still turn these calories into heat. But what if you eat ice cream? It's cold.
Sleep Comfort and Astronaut Discoveries
Adam BrausOh, there you go. Nevermind the real calories, Calories reverse. So what you need is a refrigerating diaper that you can wear. Or if you eat a pizza only if you eat a pizza then you put on your refrigerating underpants, or just have the good sense not to like.
Scot Maupincram a thousand calories, right before bed. It's just stop eating a few hours, so wait what about?
Adam Brausokay, Now we're getting into your sleeping habits.
Scot MaupinSo what about?
Adam Brausokay, so what about your blankets? Do you use synthetic? Any synthetic downs? Or I probably use wool, what I've got. So here's my blankets.
Scot MaupinI like always have a sheet.
Adam BrausAlways have the sheet first. Yeah, me too.
Scot MaupinAnd then I've got the. What are they like? Fleece, kind of like a fleece, synthetic fleece.
Adam BrausOh, this is why you're overheated. You gotta get a synthetic. I've got like a couple of those, oh a couple of them, then I put on. Okay, we're fixing this. Get rid of all synthetics A feather, a feather. Is it a real down?
Scot Maupinthing, I don't know, probably not. Okay, there's the problem.
Adam BrausThe synthetics are also. They're heat sinks. They don't. They don't. They don't ventilate the way the natural ones do. It sounds right so you gotta get rid of all the synthetics. Cotton, wool and natural down. No synthetics. Synthetics are bad.
Scot MaupinA wool blanket sounds like it would be very.
Adam BrausThey get smelly too, Very hot. No, wool wool breathes really well, Especially like a merino wool, like a nice wool blanket. They're kind of expensive but they're really nice. They're a bit heavy Like they kind of like weigh your feet down.
Scot MaupinBut that's what you want, right? A weighted blanket is Well you get a weighted blanket.
Adam Brausyeah, some people like that. Anyways, I urge you to because you got the problem address. So underneath you you're solid, you got air flow. It's not like a problem. Address is like cold, like you're sleeping. I don't know, In a hammock. It's comfortable. It's comfortable, but it is. It does have nice air flow.
Scot MaupinSo you're saying I should have good Blanket. Sprint count is what you're saying, I'm not. I'm talking about oh, we're moving away from that. We're not talking about balls anymore.
Adam BrausOh, I mean, we're never that far away from balls, at least I'm not. I'm always close.
Scot MaupinWell, it depends on how high you are.
Adam BrausYour balls will move farther away from you, and length of scrotum have to always consider different men differently. No one's ever bragging about that, everyone's like oh dick size.
Scot MaupinWhat about? What about scrotum? What?
Adam Brausabout scrotum length or size could be full size.
Scot MaupinBy the way, I also don't think guys are going up to each other being like hey, dick size Dude, like that's not a thing.
Adam BrausNo, would you like? Every people worry about that.
Scot Maupinbut nobody's like having like dick size on TV comedians.
Adam BrausYou know people are always like, oh, oh, oh, oh, it's probably more women actually. You're right thinking about that.
Scot MaupinBut yeah, scrotum size. I bet men probably think about dick size more than women do, but Really I think they probably think about it. But it's from a like a oh no, I hope I'm okay. Stand point instead of like yeah.
Adam BrausI don't know Some reassurance.
Scot MaupinI think women are like all right man, I'm not, that is not my understanding of the private conversations of women. Oh no.
Adam BrausI think the private conversations of women are very I don't know.
Scot MaupinAre we? I think they're talking about us. Are we making a plan right now to to do like a white chicks thing, where we dress up as women and infiltrate? That's what they were planning, right now Different women's like groups.
Adam BrausIt won't be like oh, tell us about your boyfriend's dick. And they'll be like that's totally unacceptable. Or they'll be like let me.
Scot MaupinHey, remember how we all talk about dick size all the time.
Adam BrausAnd they'll be like yeah, but we don't talk about scrotum size. Why don't we? We should.
Scot MaupinHi, ladies, Ladies, I wasn't here for the last meeting Me.
Adam BrausI wasn't here for the last meeting but we can just pick up and talk about this is horrible. I feel like we're gonna be canceled for this Scrotum size, anyways.
Scot MaupinThe person who is going to cancel us was the blood person, and we already got them out of here Just at the very beginning. Oh yeah, space, so they're not listening anymore in space, balls in space.
Adam BrausWhat do they do in space?
Scot MaupinWe moved all the way from blood in space to here. This has been one journey.
Adam BrausBalls in space. There's a movie Spaceballs Boops in space must be great, right, because then they don't need bras. Right, because everything's just the same with balls. They just sort of float.
Scot MaupinI don't gravity right. I've heard all those sexy astronauts up there just enjoying their weightless boobs and balls.
Adam BrausI think I saw they did like a gravity plane you know where you get zero gravity and they did like a porno on it. People who are listening can Google and find it.
Scot MaupinI'm sure they send like they send like super genius astrophysicist up into space, and then they check in, they're like okay, how's it going up there?
Adam BrausAnd they're like, do my balls.
Scot MaupinAnd then like all right, let's take it with a navigator.
Adam BrausCheck the girls Boops Like my boobs are just floating around Are you guys supposed to be scientists.
Scot MaupinI think we said the wrong astronauts out there.
Adam BrausYou know you can't give birth. I don't think you can come. Pregnancy cannot come to term in space. I think. I think I read that.
Scot MaupinThat feels unethical to try and test gravity.
Adam BrausYou need gravity to have the birthing process happen properly. Yeah, which means no headstands. No, I'm just kidding. No space babies. No space babies, you got to have some gravitational pull. I think it's like it's the same thing with if you get pneumonia in space, you'll probably die. So when we become a, because you need gravity to expel the liquid of your lungs, otherwise it just permeates your whole lungs.
Scot MaupinSo when we become a race of people who are just traveling the stars, we will have to like, take nine months out, go to a planet like Sam and birth a baby and then put it back on the spaceship and get out.
Adam BrausWe'll be like salmon We'll return to our gravitational birthing grounds. Or you could make a space station that generated, you know, a third of a third of a G of gravity by spinning really fast. And that would just be a pod full of pregnant women, just like spinning around in space.
Scot MaupinThese poor planets that get invaded by like they're like yeah, we have a peaceful planet, but every once in a while, humans come down, and then they just like go crazy in droves, and then they make a tiny one, and then they get out of here. It's a weird. They have a weird culture there. Those human animals. What a weird alien they are.
Adam BrausNo fur, very little, well, just on their heads that we can see, yeah, but anyway. So getting away from the balls, just to comfort of sleep. Comfort of sleep, and I think especially affects men more than women, because I feel like women are comfortable, more comfortable with the warmer temperature in bed, but the men, we're hot Generally. I think men are kind of hot, and so if you're sleeping, especially you're sleeping next to a woman and you have the same blankets in the same bed that she's comfortable with, you're like you know. So they have the sleep number, but sleep numbers for firmness.
Scot MaupinI was going to say you're inventing a sleep number. Bed Sleep number should be for refrigeration.
Adam BrausYes, Coolness and warmth. They should make a sleep number bed when.
Scot MaupinI dial mine to 67 and you dial yours to 73, that should be the degrees that. Yeah, exactly that bed is put now.
Adam BrausShe could do firmness and temperature. Okay, that could be an innovation for a sleep number for all the sleep number executives listening.
Scot MaupinYou have to plug in your bed all the time so it's constantly drawing electricity.
Adam BrausYeah, but I think the purple mattress with nice natural fabric blankets are the best Cotton quilts and wool blankets and down comforters.
Scot MaupinSo this is just another one of the things that astronauts have wrecked our lives with by discovering in space.
Adam BrausWhat else did they wreck our lives with? I?
Scot Maupinmean like that freeze dried ice cream astronaut food ice cream that wrecks your life when you like eat it and it tastes like Right, it tastes like it feels like you're doing chalk, so your life's like Like before you had that. Strawberry flavored chalk and then you go and you think that all chalk is going to be strawberry flavored, so you start eating chalk just regularly.
Adam BrausStarting to see what happened there.
Scot MaupinAnd you eat a few sticks and you're like this doesn't taste like strawberries, but maybe those other ones will, and you get into a whole life on behalf of eating chalk Right. Exactly See, now you understand, and so so you're. Now you're.
Adam BrausThat's the fault of astronauts. You have pica. What's pica? Pica is when you eat dirt and other things you're not supposed to eat. How do you know about that? I know everything. Do you have pica?
Scot MaupinNo, Okay, I have pica.
Adam BrausThat is what someone with pica would say first, I would say no, no, I don't have pica. But if you have pica, you have to tell us. It's like being a cop. So, but you just admitted that pica, but you blame, you've externalized all your problems onto space space men.
Scot MaupinI think in women. I think space men are the cause of most problems. And women and women.
Adam BrausWhoa, now you're like a space overness. Space people, space chauvinist, space misogyny Are you a space chauvinist, or you don't like space women, but you do like space men.
Scot MaupinNo, I like space women. They have the floating boobs. We already talked about this.
Adam BrausThat's true. That's true, that's benefit.
Scot MaupinAnd it sounds like you can get crazy in space and not have to worry about babies because, yeah, you know, this is what's Apparently you're not.
Adam BrausDo you know space X? You know what that's named after? Right?
Scot MaupinNo, it's an Elon Musk thing, so it's probably something.
Adam BrausIt's space sex, space sex Really. That's what it means. Are it for real?
Scot MaupinYes, that is 100% what the name of space X comes from, Alrighty Elon Space sex, Wow Cool dude, that's what it is Glad you have the most money in the world and you know the Falcon rocket.
Adam BrausThe big Falcon rocket. Okay, is this also? That's what it's called the big fucking rocket, the big Falcon rocket.
Scot MaupinOh right, the BFR. He's going to launch his 69 420 robot rocket as well. This is early, elon. I was all on board with early.
Adam BrausElon, Really this Elon Early Elon was fine Space sex Elon and you know he did the same thing with Tesla the S-Class. Right the X class, the Y class, sexy. But they wouldn't let him do sexy, so they did it three class for the E. The three is the E, so it's the S class, the E class, the X class and the Y class sexy. He's freaking, 12 years old.
Scot MaupinWhat is this? I'm on board with early.
Adam BrausElon, it's late phase, or hopefully we're in late phase. Jesus, I guess he's not that old. Maybe we have a whole on core. We have a whole like horrible crazy generation to come.
Scot MaupinCoke brothers, elon Musk, oh God.
Adam BrausYeah, he definitely didn't improve when he became a billionaire, but before he was a billionaire, when he just had a few hundred million, he was cool. He's making batteries, making solar panels, making electric cars cool, I'm on board Now.
Scot MaupinMaking electric cars, or buying a company that makes electric cars. Well, you know what I mean Just installing himself.
Adam BrausHe invested a lot of money in that. You know it wouldn't go under without him putting really a lot of money into it.
Scot MaupinI just think of him as a money person, not an inventor or product person.
Adam BrausBut I think again, late Elon has become that Early Elon I think he had, kind of he was on the cutting edge of what was thought of and possible then, but then he's totally abandoned that now, cause obviously the solution is mass transit and not cars. Cars are the. You know they're not. Yeah, well, you're anti-car. Well, I'm anti-car addiction. I'm not anti-car. Cars are fine, but too many cars, yeah, too many cars Choked with cars is bad.
Scot MaupinToo many cars, but I am pro Spur.
Adam BrausI'm like too many cars, not enough sperm. This is what.
Scot MaupinAdam thinks about all day. You need to have the cars, have the cars double sperm?
Adam BrausYeah, I'm down for that. Double sperm and half-car, half-car, yeah.
Scot MaupinNot together, Not like they're not related, you know.
Adam BrausNo one doesn't do the other. No, it's totally worth talking about.
Scot MaupinWell, maybe if you're sitting in your car less, you're cooking your balls less, and we could have you know back to being bursting with sperm. You know what's the other problem.
Adam BrausHeated seats. Heated seats. Do not sit in a car if you're a man and turn on the heated seats and just leave them.
Scot MaupinBut you could do it maybe just to warm up the car, but don't like leave that on for like two hours while you're driving.
Adam BrausThat is crazy. I can't believe that.
Scot MaupinDoesn't like come with some kind of warning for men, I mean for women who cares, get those labia as hot as you want, it doesn't matter.
Adam BrausBut men, there's literally an organ down there that deliberately part of its function is not, that deliberately part of its functioning is heat control. You know, like this is not some random thing you know.
Scot MaupinIf you're not into the idea of having kids right now, maybe fry them, cook them up Air fryer. Yeah, heated seats, go crazy.
Adam BrausOr if you don't want to, you know, if you want to have no sperm, just fry it, Just yeah, bake them.
Scot MaupinAll right, bake them. This is an atypical episode, but I like it. I like it.
Adam BrausAnd again, none of this is scientifically proven. But you know science needs to have a foregoing process of hypothesis generation and solutions from the multiverse is willing to engage in that.
Scot MaupinIt's a direct line cool mattress, cool balls big sperm Cool person, oh Big sperm. Easy babies, oh my.
Adam BrausGod, is that what we're doing? I hope so. Well, it takes two to tango and everybody play safe.
Scot MaupinAnd we'll see you next time, guys. Thanks for joining us, bye.
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